Wayyy back in July, I corresponded with an author at Fatherly.com about what “women crave more of in the bedroom.” (yeah, I thought the query was phrased in a fairly limited and odd way, too)
I don’t know whatever happened to the commentary — perhaps it’s because I maybe pointed out that there is no way to ask what all women want about anything? — but here it is for your edification nonetheless.
Fatherly: I am looking for sex therapists, sex educators and other related professionals to weigh in. Based on your experience in the field, what do women crave more of in the bedroom? Dirty talk? Foreplay? Oral? What seems to be lacking from their bedroom experience, and why?
DrCT: “The bedroom” is just another component of the wider social world, and sex and intimacy are types of interpersonal experiences.
As a sociologist, what seems to be an increasingly significant theme impacting people is the need for clear communication (or, just communication in general). Now, this is challenging, especially when it comes to sex.
We live in a fairly sex-negative culture that has also attached a lot of socially constructed meaning to various versions of sexual expression. Consequently, communication about sex is challenging. So, in order to figure out what people want in the bedroom – as well as what they don’t want – the first step is figuring out communication forms that work for everyone involved in the exchange.
A fairly direct way to identify what’s lacking is to ask (or, share) – but how to ask/share is a step in of itself, one that we struggle with on every societal level, from the broadest to the most intimate.
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