For those of you familiar with the daily struggle that is publishing anything – at any level, in any context, on any platform – I give you The Haunted Vagina (2006) by Carlton Mellick III.

THV has a 4.5 star rating on Amazon after ninety seven (97!) customers opted to weigh in. Here’s the synopsis:

It’s difficult to love a woman whose vagina is a gateway to the world of the dead…

Steve is madly in love with his eccentric girlfriend, Stacy. Unfortunately, their sex life has been suffering as of late, because Steve is worried about the odd noises that have been coming from Stacy’s pubic region. She says that her vagina is haunted. She doesn’t think it’s that big of a deal. Steve, on the other hand, completely disagrees.

When a living corpse climbs out of her during an awkward night of sex, Stacy learns that her vagina is actually a doorway to another world. She persuades Steve to climb inside of her to explore this strange new place. But once inside, Steve finds it difficult to return… especially once he meets an oddly attractive woman named Fig, who lives within the lonely haunted world between Stacy’s legs. (here)

THV is Carlton’s fourteenth “bizarro” novel. He currently has 50 listings on Amazon, with publications as recent as this summer. Oh, and bizarro apparently is a movement in literature based out of Portland, OR, which is also where he lives.

Maybe it’s a good story? Maybe it’s terrible? I’m curious enough to give it a go, but it’s temporarily out of stock on Amazon. Go figure.


(image via Amazon here)

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