I recently corresponded with a writer from SheKnows about “three to five ‘new ways’ to initiate sex that will jumpstart your relationship.”

Since I’m not a “sexpert,” this was a bit of a challenge. There are plenty of specific, task-oriented ideas out there, but what’s the bigger overacting issue? That’s what I was going for.

Sadly, my suggestion didn’t make it into the listicle — which included some “new” ideas like watch porn together and sext — because my idea is actually an age-old way to tackle just about any issue: communicate.

Here’s the response I provided:

Ironically, the freshest way to jumpstart your relationship is actually not technically new. On a wider social level, we all struggle with communication. As such, working on that age-old issue in a way that resonates with your partner is the most innovative thing you can do.

It’s important too to remember the “resonates” part when you are thinking about communication. Not all forms of communication connect as well with all individuals. Some people may love humor or times set aside for intimate talks. For others, these forms of communicating may actually put them off.

It’s just as important to make sure your partner is receiving your message as it is to have a message to deliver. Pay attention to the ways your partner seems to best connect with new ideas, and think about your communication accordingly. And if at first you don’t succeed, keep trying.

Communication and miscommunication are cornerstone issues shaping and misshaping human interaction throughout history. If you can find ways to make inroads with your partner, you’ve not only found a way to jumpstart your relationship — you’ve helped chip away at an issue that we all struggle with!

I still agree with myself on this issue!

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