Back in October (!!), I corresponded with AnnaMarie Houlis, who was writing a piece for SheKnows regarding diminishing sex drives. Namely, is it the fault of social media?
Here’s Houlis’ query: “There’s a gamut of research that suggests social media consumes a large chunk of our time, can hurt our confidence, and can have us craving validation, etc. [What are] the affects that social media can have on one’s sex drive, specifically?”
Though my insights did not make it into Houlis’ final piece — “Here’s How Social Media Could Be Killing Your Sex Drive” (published November 19, 2018) — you can read my insights below, reprinted in full. Enjoy!
DrCT: Depending on the source you are consulting, social media today ranges from occupying quite a bit of time — many people can agree on that — to being the downfall of social-humanity — which is likely a bit inflammatory. Truthfully though, there is no one correct assessment. Social media use and impact is as complex and multi-faceted as most other social dynamics.
Regarding sex drive specifically, the impact that the very same social media stimuli can have on various individuals can vary from user to user. One person may fall into a rabbit hole of editing insta-selfies, gradually forgetting their own beauty, and another may connect with a person in a real way (both online and even off). One person may become preoccupied with what the perceive to be being shown in social media, potentially decreasing their own feelings of sexual desirability, while another may use social media and technology to connect with their partner in ways that enhance and augment their sexual expression.
The thing to be mindful of that can help minimize negative impacts of social media on one’s libido is over-use. There is nothing inherently wrong or deleterious about social media, but anything in excess can become problematic. What makes this especially tricky though is that there is no universal metric for excess or over-use. My suggestion would be for people to reflect on other patterns in their lives – do you have the tendency to overdo it, whatever “it” is? If so, then putting a self-imposed boundary on your social media use may be a good idea. Then, work to modify your limits if necessary as you learn more about what works for you.
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